The Sonny and Cher Show

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""You Won't See Me"" and banter with Bob Hope about politics and their lives. In a comedy blackout, Laverne (Cher) voices her objection of a woman hanging around in a bar, taking advantage of unsuspecting men. 2. ""Lovers"" -- Having taken over the Red Baron's (Sonny's) headquarters, an American spy (regular Jack Harrell) disguises himself as Marlene Dietrich (Cher) to elude the German pilot; and King Arthur (Sonny) calls upon the services of Sir Lancelot (Bob) to help him find out which of his knights Dame Guinevere (Cher) has been cheating with. 3. The Jacksons perform ""Enjoy Yourself"" 4. Cher sings ""I Honestly Love You"" 5. Laverne (Cher) and Alvin (Sonny) discuss Sonny and Cher's outfits. 6. Bob signs ""Autumn Leaves"" as leaves begin to fall all over the set. 7. ""The Bozo Of the Year Awards"" -- Bob joins hosts Steve Star (Sonny) and Farrah Fetching (Cher) as they present awards to the biggest Bozos of the year. In comedy sketches, a Congressman (regul

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Don't Go Breaking My Heart"" and a comedy dialogue. 2. ""Mother Goose"" -- Little Bo Peep (Charo) attempts to file a missing person's report on her lost sheep; Cher and Charo are featured in a segment about ""what little girls are made of"", and Sonny orders a bowl of ""peas porridge hot"" from restaurateur Wayne. 3. ""The Prisoner"" -- Rocko (Sonny) looks forward to a visit from his girl (Cher). 4. Laverne (Cher) and Carol Burnett exchange quips about their bodies. 5. Cher sings ""Ain't Misbehavin'"" 6. Sonny appears as a pilot with a bad case of reverse jetlag. 7. ""Borderline Honeymoon"" -- Sonny and Charo play honeymooners in a house having three rooms in three countries, and border guards at each door. 8. Sonny and Cher perform a medley of ""Fooled Around and Fell In Love"" and ""Never Gonna Fall In Love Again"" 9. ""In the Beginning"" -- Wayne tells the story of the very first bank. 10. Gunman John Dillinger (Sonny) holds everyone hostage in one of the finest s

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""That'll Be the Day"" and banter about the Presidential candidates. In a comedy blackout, Alvin (Sonny) confides to Laverne (Cher) that he has feelings for her. 2. Italian film director Vente Nove (Sonny) shows his four-minute original disaster movie, ""The Towering Poseidon Quake Port Hinden Jaws Follies '78."" 3. Sonny and Cher perform ""Silly Love Songs"" with Donny and Marie. 4. ""The Battle Of the Sexes"" -- Cher plays a liberated wife who's accused of seducing her neighbor's (Ruth's) husband (Alex) and breaking his heart. 5. Cher sings ""It Had To Be You"" 6. ""The Channel 86 Cutesy News"" -- Sonny and Cher co-anchor the news program with Ruth, Alex and regular Ted Zeigler. In comedy sketches, West Point's first female cadet commander (Ruth) inspects the barracks; tennis pros Jimmy Connors (Sonny) and Chrissy Evert (Cher) break off their relationship while dining out; and Monty Hall (Alex) gets his first situation comedy. 7. Sonny and Cher close the show

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Still the One"" and banter about Halloween and the upcoming Ford-Carter election. In a comedy blackout, Alvin and Laverne (Sonny and Cher) show up as trick-or-treaters at Herbie's (regular Ted Zeigler's) bar. 2. Cher sings ""The Things That Go Bump In the Night"" 3. Dr. Jekyll (Sonny) hosts an eerie party in which a special potion transforms his guests into Hyde-like creatures that terrorize the butler (Jim). 4. ""The Bionic Draculas At Home"" -- Shields and Yarnell portray Count Dracula and his ghoulish lady who are intent on sinking their teeth into the neck of an unsuspecting milkman (Sonny). 5. Sonny takes Chastity out trick-or-treating to Cher's house, where the tyke performs ""Sonny Boy."" 6. ""Beauty and the Beast"" -- Cher appears in a comedy sketch as King Kong's sweetheart, who's making arrangements to have her new lover pick up her parents at the airport. 7. ""The Monster Dating Game"" -- Wolfman Jim (Nabors) hosts the game show as Mary Jane Muffet

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Right Back Where We Started From"" and banter about Jimmy Carter having won the Presidential election. In a comedy blackout, Alvin (Sonny) tells Laverne (Cher) that he's finally left his wife. 2. ""Video Tape a Date"" -- The manager of a video dating service (Ed) tries to help a lonely man (Sonny) select the girl he'd like to go out with. The two prospects are an unattractive Playboy bunny who does everything in the nude (regular Ted Zeigler) and a klutzy, untalented loser (Cher) being pushed by her persistent mother (Betty) to get married off. 3. The Sylvers perform a medley of ""Boogie Fever"" and ""Hot Line"" 4. ""The Case Book Of Sam Spade"" -- Elderly detective Sam Spade (Sonny) recalls ""the case of the night train caper to Munich."" His assignment was to deliver two million dollars to a secret agent, who would be cleverly disguised as W. C. Fields. (Ed and Betty portray two of the seven Fields impersonators aboard the train, and Cher appears as a Mae W

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""I Only Want To Be With You"" and banter about the science of numbers. 2. ""Sonny's Pizza Parlor"" -- Jack appears as a politician campaigning for votes at the pizzeria. 3. Cher sings ""I Got It Bad and That Ain't Good"" 4. ""Mother Goose"" -- Cher is cast as Mother Goose, revealing the candid secrets behind several popular nursery rhymes, including ""Rub-a-Dub-Dub"" and a tongue-twisting tale about a woodchuck. 5. Italian film director Vente Nove (Sonny) introduces a clip from his latest project, ""Husband Betrayed"", with voice-overs in English. 6. Steve sings ""All By Myself"" 7. The entire cast joins in the recollections of the Not-So-Grand Hotel. 8. Sonny and Cher close the show.

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""All I Ever Need Is You"" and banter about Thanksgiving. 2. Italian film director Vente Nove (Sonny) introduces a clip from ""La Dolce Turkey"", his first movie about America. 3. Tom performs ""Say You'll Stay Until Tomorrow"" 4. Cher joins Tom for ""Resurrection Shuffle"" 5. Newswoman Barbara Nauseous (Cher) reports on a pair of bionic doctors (Shields and Yarnell). 6. Cher sings ""Long Distance Love Affair"" 7. Chastity performs ""What Happens After the Happily Ever After?"" as she introduces a series of sketches based on popular fairy tales. In comedy blackouts, a beautiful princess (Cher) and her frog/prince husband (Tom) grow concerned about their son's (Sonny's) peculiar habits; the Seven Dwarfs debut their new cabaret act in Vegas; and Gepetto (Redd) has a father-to-son chat with Pinocchio (Sonny). 8. Sonny and Cher, with daughter Chastity, close the show with ""I Got You Babe""

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Our Day Will Come"" and banter about Sonny wanting to make a statue of himself out of granite to be remembered by. In a comedy blackout, Laverne (Cher) tells Alvin (Sonny) and Herbie (regular Ted Zeigler) that she's looking for a job in show business. 2. ""The Battle Of the Sexes"" -- Cher plays a liberated working wife who upsets her husband (Sonny) when she brings her male secretary (Andy) home with her before they leave on a business trip to Acapulco. 3. Twiggy sings ""Pieces Of April"" 4. Andy portrays the President-elect Jimmy Carter's aide on his first trip to the White House. 5. Cher sings ""More Than You Know"" 6. Twiggy appears as an island queen delivering a farewell speech to her only subject. 7. ""In the Beginning"" -- Sonny and regular Ted Zeigler tell the story of how life insurance began. 8. Sonny and Cher perform a medley of ""Never Can Say Goodbye"" and ""Best Of My Love"" 9. ""Mother Goose"" -- Sherlock Holmes (Andy) and Dr. Watson (Sonny) solve

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Jingle Bells"" and banter about Sonny's plans for a real, old-fashioned Italian Christmas. In a comedy blackout, Herbie (regular Ted Zeigler) wonders what Cher will be getting Sonny for Christmas this year. 2. The Captain joins Sonny and Cher on-stage to tell about a letter he'd received from a fan. 3. ""Sonny's Pizza Parlor"" -- Sonny is haunted by visions of the Ghost of Pizza Past (Cher), the Ghost of Pizza Present (Bob) and the Ghost of Pizza Yet To Come (Bernadette) when he decides to keep the pizzeria open throughout the holidays. 4. Bernadette sings a medley of ""Send In the Clowns"" and ""Be a Clown"" 5. Alvin and Laverne (Sonny and Cher) exchange Christmas gifts and face a crisis when they realize that each of them had sold his home in order to move in and live together. 6. Sonny and Chastity play with two toy marionettes (Shields and Yarnell) that had been under the Christmas tree. 7. ""Christmas Eve"" -- A kindhearted waiter (Bob) shows compassio

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Don't Pull Your Love"" and banter about the Christmas presents they gave each other. 2. ""The Heartbreak Of Psoriasis"" -- Sonny and Cher are cast as a philandering pharaoh and his unfaithful queen in a soap opera spoof set in ancient Egypt, where the inhabitants speak in the modern idiom of TV commercials. In tonight's episode, Queen Psoriasis (Cher) has fallen out of love with her husband and is having a torrid love affair with the slave Eczema (Don), while the Pharaoh Neuritis (Sonny) is secretly seeing the queen's handmaid (Joey) behind her back. 3. Cher sings ""Yesterday"" 4. A nervous Don goes into a singles' bar to meet a girl and mistakenly thinks a female voice he overhears is talking to him. 5. Sonny and Cher perform a medley of ""We'll Sing In the Sunshine"" and ""You Are My Sunshine"" 6. Alvin (Sonny) asks Herbie (regular Ted Zeigler) to be the best man at his wedding and looks over travel brochures with Laverne (Cher) as they make plans for the

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""You Gotta Make Your Own Sunshine"" and an opening dialogue about how their private lives have changed since their divorce. In a comedy blackout, Alvin (Sonny) reveals to Herbie (regular Ted Zeigler) that he and Laverne have invited Sonny and Cher to their wedding. 2. ""The Channel 86 Cutesy News"" -- Sonny and Cher co-anchor the news program with John, Karen and regular Ted Zeigler. Comedy sketches have Karen, as a woman reporter, interviewing the winning football team inside their locker room, and John playing Lou Shyster, the first criminal lawyer to advertise on TV. 3. Sonny and Cher spoof ""Gone With the Wind"" with a sixty-second takeoff on the film. 4. Cher sings ""As Time Goes By"" 5. Alvin and Laverne (Sonny and Cher) tie the knot by publicly exchanging their own wedding vows. John is cast as the minister hired to marry them, regular Jack Harrell plays the admiral of the seventh fleet who's brought Laverne a gift from the ""boys"", and Karen appears

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""All I Really Want To Do"" and banter about the network moving their show to a later time slot. 2. ""The Battle Of the Sexes"" -- Sonny and Cher spend the evening with an old school chum (Farrah) and her sniveling husband (Don). 3. ""The Wonderful World Of Barbara Nauseous"" -- Jim joins Sonny and Cher in a countrified parody of a Presidential inaugural. 4. Debbie performs ""Having a Party"" 5. Cher and Farrah portray two shipwrecked clotheshorses, stranded on a deserted island with only their wardrobes and cosmetics. 6. Italian film director Vente Nove (Sonny) shows a trailer for his new movie, ""Planet Of the Noseglasses"", which stars Cher, Debbie and Don. 7. Sonny and Cher introduce their former conductor, Harold Battiste, and reminisce about their early career together. They then perform ""Baby Don't Go"", their first hit song. 8. Sonny and Cher close the show.

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""My Cherie Amour"" and banter about how they don't kiss on-stage anymore and some of the weird things that Sonny has done. 2. ""Salt and Pepper"" -- Pepper's understudy (Ken) hits Pepper (Sonny) over the head with a glass bottle in order to take his place on stage with Salt (Betty) to sing ""You Were Meant For Me."" 3. Cher sings ""The Way We Were"" 4. ""The Channel 86 Cutesy News"" -- Flip, Betty, Ken and regular Ted Zeigler join Sonny and Cher for a series of sketches and one-liners about the newly elected President Carter. In comedy blackouts, a construction worker (Sonny) is brought in to remodel the Carters' bathroom; Geraldine Jones (Flip), in her new job as the President's appointment secretary, tests the new country-style hot line that was put in the White House; and a member from President Carter's personal staff (Betty) tries to break down the language barrier that now exists in the White House by teaching a stuffy administration secretary (Cher) ""

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Steppin' Out"" and banter with Sonny trying to convince Cher of how much she needs him. 2. Reporter Barbara Nauseous (Cher) presents a sketch showing how today's women are finding employment in areas that were previously closed to them -- including crime. A female cat burglar (Ruth) and her air-headed accomplice (Cher) break into the home of a sleeping couple (Sonny and Barbi) and are surprised by a male prowler (William) doing the same thing. 3. Engelbert sings ""After the Lovin'"" 4. ""The Heartbreak Of Psoriasis"" -- In another episode of the ancient Egyptian soap opera, Queen Psoriasis (Cher) is carrying on with the slave driver Gastronitis (William) while her husband, the Pharaoh Neuritis (Sonny), is getting to know Dermatitis, the newest concubine (Barbi). (Ruth appears as Madame Bursitis, the keeper of the concubines, and Engelbert plays the magician.) 5. Cher sings ""Didn't We?"" 6. ""The Battle Of the Sexes"" -- Cher's meddling parents (William and

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""You Make Me Feel Like Dancing"" and banter about Cher's single life and their Hollywood homes. 2. Glen sings ""Southern Nights"" 3. Cher joins Glen for a medley of his hit songs, including: ""Country Boy (You Got Your Feet In L.A.)"", ""Don't Pull Your Love/ Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye"" and ""Rhinestone Cowboy."" 4. ""Beauty and the Beast"" -- Cher talks to the doctor about the ape's aggravating cold and sore throat. 5. Cher sings ""What a Difference a Day Makes"" 6. Farrah appears as a woman doctor attempting to give a construction worker (Sonny) his physical examination. 7. Cher and Farrah portray two mannequins in a fashion store's display window, with Sonny and regular Ted Zeigler playing the maintenance men who'll have to strip them to change their outfits. 8. ""The Channel 86 Cutesy News"" -- Sonny and Cher are joined by co-anchors Farrah, Don and regular Ted Zeigler in a spoof of TV's coverage of the world news. In comedy sketches, Mademoiselle Francois

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""For Once In My Life"" and an opening dialogue. 2. ""The Wonderful World Of Barbara Nauseous"" -- Cher and Debbie are featured in a parody of a Russian variety show. 3. ""The Heartbreak Of Psoriasis"" -- Debbie and Jim plot against Queen Psoriasis (Cher) in this episode of the ancient Egyptian soap opera. 4. Sonny and Cher introduce their second hit recording, ""Just You."" 5. ""The Prisoner"" -- Cher stuns Sonny with her announcement that she's moved into a new apartment with four football stars. 6. Debbie sings ""Gee, But It's Good To Be Here"" 7. ""Lovers"" -- In sketches based on famous lovers of the past, Debbie plays Dulcinea to Sonny's Don Quixote, and Jim portrays the legendary Caruso, with Cher cast as his nagging wife. 8. Sonny and Cher close the show with ""I Got You Babe""

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Ain't That Peculiar"" and banter about Sonny being interested in Cher's sleeping habits. 2. ""Sonny's Pizza Parlor"" -- An angry Muhammad Ali comes to kill Sonny for having given him a free pizza with everything on it back when he was a young, struggling interior decorator, which caused him to take up boxing. 3. Marilyn and Billy perform a medley of ""You Don't Have To Be a Star (To Be In My Show)"" and ""Your Love"" 4. ""The Battle Of the Sexes"" -- An irate nudist (Lyle) accuses his neighbor (Cher) of being a peeping Jane. 5. Marilyn and Billy join Sonny and Cher for a medley of ""It Takes Two"", ""Where Is the Love"", ""You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling"" and ""Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing."" 6. ""The Wide World Of Poetry"" -- Cher and Ali meet in the ring for a poetry bout, with Sonny acting as the referee. 7. Italian film director Vente Nove (Sonny) shows a private screening of his new classic film, ""Gone With the Wine"", with Marilyn and Billy cast as Scarlet

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Swearin' To God"" and banter about their early years together. 2. ""The Sonnytone News"" -- Sonny and Anne portray two vacationers determined to enjoy the sunny beaches of Florida despite a cold wave; Cher accompanies a depressed King Kong as he meets with Dr. Joyce Brothers; and Peter reveals what it's like to be off java at a coffeeholics' meeting. 3. ""The Supermarket"" -- Shields and Yarnell appear as two robots encountering problems at a grocery store. 4. Sonny and Cher perform their latest release, ""You're Not Right For Me"" 5. ""The Prisoner"" -- Cher tells Sonny about her new job as a police decoy. 6. Cher sings ""Reason To Believe"" 7. ""Rootless"" -- Cher is featured in a production number that supposedly traces her lineage with the American Indians and Armenian gypsys. 8. Sonny and Cher close the show.

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""You Are the Sunshine Of My Life"" and banter about Cher's sister playing a wicked character on the daytime soap opera ""General Hospital"" and the women's rights movement. 2. Italian film director Vente Nove (Sonny) introduces his latest project, ""Another Movie"", a unique version of ""Madame Butterfly"" blended with a classic American Western -- starring Charo, George, Cher and regular Ted Zeigler. 3. Charo performs ""Concerto de Aranjuez"" 4. George appears as a despondent citizen trying to have himself arrested for ripping the tag that says ""DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW"" off of his pillow, cheating the phone company by calling person-to-person and asking for himself, squeezing the Charmin at the supermarket, and sneaking through the six-item line with seven items. 5. Cher sings ""Come Rain Or Come Shine"" 6. Charo presents a tribute to William Shakespeare with a dramatic reading of ""Hamlet's Advice To His Players."" 7. Sonny and Cher perform ""Bad, Ba

1. Sonny and Cher open the show with ""Teach Me Tonight"" and banter about their solo attempts to headline a nighttime TV series and the first time they met. 2. ""The Lovers"" -- Italian film director Vente Nove (Sonny) stars Shields and Yarnell as robots in love on their wedding night. 3. ""The Prisoner"" -- Cher tells Sonny about her plans to adopt a 32-year-old ""son."" 4. Cher sings ""Danny's Song"" 5. David portrays a psychiatrist who is driving his patient (Sonny) crazy. 6. Tina performs ""Watch Closely Now"" 7. Cher joins Tina for a medley of ""Music Makin'"", ""I Got the Music In Me"" and ""Mr. Melody"" 8. ""Sonny's Pizza Parlor"" -- A tempera mental French chef that Sonny hired to give the pizzeria a new image (David) is immediately smitten with Rosa (Cher) and challenges Sonny to a cook-off. (Tina and regular Jack Harrell appear as the diners who are asked to sample the dishes.) 9. Sonny and Cher close the show.

Sonny and Cher spoof themselves in ""The Sonny and Cher Show Awards Show"", presenting highlights -- and low points -- of the season. Included are: the Overacting Award with guest nominees, Chastity's Nepotism Award, Sonny's Repetition and Dancing Awards, and regular Ted Zeigler's Humility Award. Also featured in the presentation are film clips of Cher modeling designer Bob Mackie's wildest creations, clips of Sonny as the famed Italian film director Vente Nove, and a tribute to the show's songwriters. Musical highlights include Sonny and Cher opening the program with ""The Beat Goes On"" and performing a medley of ""All I Really Want To Do"", ""Laugh At Me"" and ""I Got You Babe.""