Expecting his usual garbage assignment, Quark is excited to hear that The Head has given an ""extended romantic interlude"" with Princess Carna of Kamamor. Troubles ensue when the crew encounters a stray space baggy carrying a virus which ages Quark 2 years for every hour.

Quark and his crew are sent on a suicidal mission to Polumbus to discover why no one has returned alive. Quark and his crew fall prey to their fantasies as part of a feindish plot by the dreaded Gorgons to drain the minds of the United Galaxy's most brilliant scientists. In this episode, Quark encounters a beautiful dream girl, Ficus encounters a teacher, the Bettys encounter clones of Quark, and Gene/Jean encounters Zoltar the Magnificent. In order to save his crew Quark must destroy the obilisk and free the ""clay people"".

On a typical mission Quark is captured by Zargon the Malevolent, who tries to learn from Quark what ""it"" is and where to find ""it"". Meanwhile, the Zargon's daughter, Princess Libido, has fallen in love with Ficus. Ficus agrees to a meeting with Princess Libido and teaches her to ""pollinate"", which is how plants love. Meanwhile, Andy and Gene/Jean escape and disguise themselves as Gorgon scientists and Gene/Jean is asked to give a lecture on ""it"".

Ficus sacrifices himself and marries Princess Libido to save his crew. Meanwhile, Quark and the Bettys are sent down to the planet to be eaten by a Lizigoth, but are saved by The Baron. Quark is able to return to the Zargon's ship, where Quark and Ficus bid farewell.

For Holiday Number 11 Quark is given a new ship computer (Vanessa) by Palindrome, which will have complete control over the ship. Vanessa tries to destroy Quark and his crew to prove her superior to Quark. Quark is able to disable Vanessa and throw her down the garbage hatch. In the last scene we see Vanessa drifting through space and singing ""Born Free"".