John wonders why Jane doesn't like any of his girlfriends. Lou fixates on his death

When John's very religious parents visit, he must lie about how often he goes to church; Jane goes on the pill to impress a guy.

When Jane starts dating a marine, John and Motif, feeling guilty for their lack of service, try to sign up for a USO Comedy Tour. Meanwhile, Lou recounts how war - and improv - are hell.

When Motif learns John and Jane are not adding him to the apartment lease, he leans on his three girlfriends for support. Lou's audience plant demands a contract.

John's resentment of actor Macaulay Culkin dampens his Christmas spirit. Meanwhile, Lou is worried when his rival, network host Jesse Tyler Munoz, announces a competing holiday special, and Andre is mistaken for a puppet.

John is faced with a dilemma when he is asked to roast Lou; Oscar tries to show Jane how to be more ladylike.

John takes Lou's advice about how to gain the upper hand with his roommates. Meanwhile, Motif shows Jane how to get her new cat to like her.

John puts his theories about teenagers to the test when he tries to impart his wisdom to his new girlfriend's 13-year-old daughter. Meanwhile, Jane and Motif become Lou's lunch companions.

When their building is infested with bed bugs, Mulaney and the gang secretly crash at a Lou's vacant pad and unknowingly eat some special Oscar "treats," leading to more problems when Lou unexpectedly returns from vacation early.